The alternative title to this post was "Cheese and Carbs many, many"
That was my Saturday. The plan was to stay in Friday night and then run to the beach on Saturday morning and spend the day hanging out and oogiling foreigners. Instead I woke up close to 2 p.m. with a wicked hangover and spent the day eating - cheese and carbs.
It was actually pretty glorious, but that is the type of shit that I am going to have to avoid on the 90 day journey. But I had to get that (Saturday) out of my system. I am going to remember that day so that I can convince myself that no, I don't need to go out drinking till 6a.m. No, I don't need the spend the whole day nursing myself like a heartbroken teenage girl. Yes, I will get out of bed, out of this house and go and do something active.
This Saturday paintball part 2. Excited.
Morning Carido again today. Awesome. Gym after work. I can do this. Watch me.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
90 days to Perfection: T-5 days
I think I have gotten off to a pretty good pre-start. I have found that going to bed a reasonable time is fucking amazing. The past two days I have woken up at 6:40 and I really don't feel any more tired than I usually do at school, and to be perfectly honest, I think I feel a little bit better.
The think that I think I am going to have to try and figure out is the whole food thing. This my current diet:
Breakfast (9:00)
2-3 Bananas
1/2 cup of milk (sometimes a yogurt)
24-35g of protein
in a shake
2 boiled eggs (just the whites)
Lunch (12:00)
A spinach salad with a moderate dressing
(oriental/yogurt based)
Snack (2:30-4:30)
A yogurt
crackers
An apple (sometimes)
Fruit Juice
Dinner
???
Ranges from stir fries, to pasta, I used to make eggs and veggies, but not so much anymore. The problem with dinner is the timing. If I eat before the gym, its at like 6:30 and when I'm done at the gym I'm staving and will make a small snack when I get home at 10. If I don't eat until after the gym its at 11. That can't be good. But I really don't have much choice. I think what I will try is to try to eat at the earlier time and not make that snack when I get home.
Except on Tuesday-Thursday... because if I leave school at 5:30 I can be home from the gym by like 8/8:30. Tuesday s fuct too, because it has now become my grocery shopping day, so I still don't get to the gym till like 7:30/8. But I have started eating at Mega Mart. A meat stick and some soup, usually does me good and its under $3...
April 1st!
**Update
I went to the gym today and I got some numbers.
Weight: 77.9 Kg
Body fat: 23%
5Km: 26:40
Set goal another day, Boys Over Flowers awaits!
The think that I think I am going to have to try and figure out is the whole food thing. This my current diet:
Breakfast (9:00)
2-3 Bananas
1/2 cup of milk (sometimes a yogurt)
24-35g of protein
in a shake
2 boiled eggs (just the whites)
Lunch (12:00)
A spinach salad with a moderate dressing
(oriental/yogurt based)
Snack (2:30-4:30)
A yogurt
crackers
An apple (sometimes)
Fruit Juice
Dinner
???
Ranges from stir fries, to pasta, I used to make eggs and veggies, but not so much anymore. The problem with dinner is the timing. If I eat before the gym, its at like 6:30 and when I'm done at the gym I'm staving and will make a small snack when I get home at 10. If I don't eat until after the gym its at 11. That can't be good. But I really don't have much choice. I think what I will try is to try to eat at the earlier time and not make that snack when I get home.
Except on Tuesday-Thursday... because if I leave school at 5:30 I can be home from the gym by like 8/8:30. Tuesday s fuct too, because it has now become my grocery shopping day, so I still don't get to the gym till like 7:30/8. But I have started eating at Mega Mart. A meat stick and some soup, usually does me good and its under $3...
April 1st!
**Update
I went to the gym today and I got some numbers.
Weight: 77.9 Kg
Body fat: 23%
5Km: 26:40
Set goal another day, Boys Over Flowers awaits!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
90 days to Perfection: T-7 days
Ok so I skipped the gym yesterday because I felt so tried and miserable. I actually went to the gym and they said they had no lockers, and that they could put my shit in the office, but I was like, nope, not having it - going home.
On the way home, I had to use all of my will power not to stop at every western food joint (i.e. McDonalds and Pizza Bingo) that would take my VISA because I am butt-fuck broke right now. I had to get an advance from work.
And I yet another resolution. Mud Fest is in July. That gives me almost exactly 3 months to get my chit together. I want to look good when I go, and not sucking in my stomach good. Just good. So from the first I am giving myself 90 to turn myself into something that I have never been. Hot.
I have seen ridiculos 12 week transformations. And if I read one more thing about consistency and dedication I'll just throw myself out of a window.
So, today, I didn't want to go to the gym. But Idid. And last night I went to bed at 12:30 and I woke up this morning at 7:11. I am going to see if I can do that again. Early to bed, early to rise. And get a cardio set in.
I'll keep you posted.
On the way home, I had to use all of my will power not to stop at every western food joint (i.e. McDonalds and Pizza Bingo) that would take my VISA because I am butt-fuck broke right now. I had to get an advance from work.
And I yet another resolution. Mud Fest is in July. That gives me almost exactly 3 months to get my chit together. I want to look good when I go, and not sucking in my stomach good. Just good. So from the first I am giving myself 90 to turn myself into something that I have never been. Hot.
I have seen ridiculos 12 week transformations. And if I read one more thing about consistency and dedication I'll just throw myself out of a window.
So, today, I didn't want to go to the gym. But Idid. And last night I went to bed at 12:30 and I woke up this morning at 7:11. I am going to see if I can do that again. Early to bed, early to rise. And get a cardio set in.
I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
For the sake of posting
Currently waiting for my laundry to finish so I can watch Boys Over Flowers. Awesome Korean drama. Well not really awesome, but its the big thing right now, and we found it online with English subtitles. It makes me feel a little bit more connected with this god forsaken country. Its really kitschy, and who who doesn't love a little kitsch in their lives.
What else. Oh, birthday weekend. The letter. I'm going to let that stay in the pages of my pen and paper journal. Yeah, I journal too. Maybe a bit overkill, but who fucking asked you? I do it for times like these. Needless to say it was a fucking gongshow, there was a bit more embarrassment than I would have liked, but all the parties involved seem to be over it, so hazaa.
I started "distance training" this week. I've been running 10km on the treadmill in leu of actually working out. Its burns about a 1000 calories which I am all about and it makes me feel really accomplished. In four days I have lost 4 pounds and taken a 1:40 off of my over all time. I feel pretty good about myself. The test will be, I suppose, next week.
Thats it. Work still sucks. Feeling better about the whole X thing for know. Either fortunately or unfortunately, he read the letter, but did make any other acknowledgement of the situation. Chalk another one up for him. Dickface. Yeah you, dickface.
Laundry just chimed at me. Peace out.
What else. Oh, birthday weekend. The letter. I'm going to let that stay in the pages of my pen and paper journal. Yeah, I journal too. Maybe a bit overkill, but who fucking asked you? I do it for times like these. Needless to say it was a fucking gongshow, there was a bit more embarrassment than I would have liked, but all the parties involved seem to be over it, so hazaa.
I started "distance training" this week. I've been running 10km on the treadmill in leu of actually working out. Its burns about a 1000 calories which I am all about and it makes me feel really accomplished. In four days I have lost 4 pounds and taken a 1:40 off of my over all time. I feel pretty good about myself. The test will be, I suppose, next week.
Thats it. Work still sucks. Feeling better about the whole X thing for know. Either fortunately or unfortunately, he read the letter, but did make any other acknowledgement of the situation. Chalk another one up for him. Dickface. Yeah you, dickface.
Laundry just chimed at me. Peace out.
February: By the Numbers
Number of days in the country: 28/28
Number of times I went to the gym: 12/28 :|
Number of days I smoked: 18/28
Number of days I drank beer: 14/28
Over it - I have many excuses. I have been doing (a bit) better in March and I am comfortable with my "progress".
Number of times I went to the gym: 12/28 :|
Number of days I smoked: 18/28
Number of days I drank beer: 14/28
Over it - I have many excuses. I have been doing (a bit) better in March and I am comfortable with my "progress".
Friday, March 6, 2009
Dear X
Apologies to my "readers" who have to bare witness to my terribleness, but this wasn't something I felt could go in a facebook message. Besides he wanted this link anyways so it serves a duel purpose.
X,
I want to thank you for being a truly amazing person. You are bigger, smarter, kinder, more forgiving than any friend I have ever known. And in return I have used and abused you in so many ungodly ways that it truly makes me ill. Which is why I have decided to write you this letter (... blog post).
I feel that I have wronged you one too many times and I can't stand it. I can't believe that I have the ability to be such a tool. But from today I vow to make a concerted effort to turn myself around. I know that you know me and I make promises I can't keep on a daily basis, but you know that I value our friendship so I hope that you can believe that I am genuine.
I was going to put the option of a friendship time-out to you, but I think that I have initiate it, so that my heart doesn't break from the rejection. Give me a month to right myself in the head. I know that I can do it, and I will begin today. There are no words to express my remorse, how truly bad I feel and while I know that that in real way makes up for my behavior, I am truly deeply sorry.
This could drag on and on, but I won't. I will do better, I promise. You do not deserve to acquainted with reproachful people such as myself. You are too good.
Signed,
that ass you once knew
X,
I want to thank you for being a truly amazing person. You are bigger, smarter, kinder, more forgiving than any friend I have ever known. And in return I have used and abused you in so many ungodly ways that it truly makes me ill. Which is why I have decided to write you this letter (... blog post).
I feel that I have wronged you one too many times and I can't stand it. I can't believe that I have the ability to be such a tool. But from today I vow to make a concerted effort to turn myself around. I know that you know me and I make promises I can't keep on a daily basis, but you know that I value our friendship so I hope that you can believe that I am genuine.
I was going to put the option of a friendship time-out to you, but I think that I have initiate it, so that my heart doesn't break from the rejection. Give me a month to right myself in the head. I know that I can do it, and I will begin today. There are no words to express my remorse, how truly bad I feel and while I know that that in real way makes up for my behavior, I am truly deeply sorry.
This could drag on and on, but I won't. I will do better, I promise. You do not deserve to acquainted with reproachful people such as myself. You are too good.
Signed,
that ass you once knew
Monday, March 2, 2009
Everythings gone to shit
J.C. I can't believe how quickly things change. I equally cannot believe just how not in my favor things change. Thankfully its late at night and I don't have time to go into the details of it all, but I need to get something down before it all changes again, and the whole idea of chronicling becomes as void as I secretly know it is.
Work
My kids' graduation was last week Wednesday. I really wish I could say it all went off without a hitch. The fact of the matter everything went wrong. They were too quite. The dumb bitch running the music fuct up the cue, so my kids stood there like deers in the headlights until the last second and finally pulled it together - somewhat. They kept changing the order of who was walking onto the stage to do their graduation bow. By the end of the showing I was fuming mad.
Of course that all melted away when I saw the first crying mother come on stage to congratulate her son. By the time I posed for the 5th picture I had all but forgotten that anything other what we had practiced for weeks and weeks had occurred. Of course we did have to go and teach for the rest of the afternoon, but the celebration that night was fucking brilliant. You know, Gongshow Galbi, good times.
Today we started out new semester and it is right fuct. We now rotate in the morning so I see three different kindergartens - balls. My homeroom is 1st year "6" year olds. It sucks. But they do seem like a good group of kids and I really hope they start to pick up what I'm putting down real fucking quick. I don't think I have ever looked at the clock more than today.
My afternoon also right sucks cock. No details neccessary, just sucks. Over it though, could be worse.
The X situation
I so fucking had the X situation unde control. I fucking did. We had a drunken love-in one night at Galbi, and in my head I said, "Ok, I get it. I really do love this guy so much more as a friend than as a(n imaginary) lover. He's fucking awesome and I CAN'T do anything to fuck this up."
Then for reasons, I really can't remember, those old familar, sinful feelings starting bubbling up again and I couldn't (can't) get him out of my head. It's really a day to day thing really. Sitting here now I'm like, well, I actually might just have it under control and blah blah blah. But then the weekend comes and I can't help myself.
It really doesn't help that I don't have any other prospects. The situation with that Matt is boarderline toxic. I am not sure how I even entertained the idea of trying to court him. I stumble at every attempt, and I have zero motivation to try and sweep him off his feet with my supposed/imagined charm. I can't be fucking bothered. He doesn't do it for me in that way. The single positive attribute that I attatch to him is that he might let me fuck him again. Thats it. Bah. Terrible.
Just to make sure that I've make this a complete "woe is me" post, I skipped the gym everyday last week. That means I went twice in the last two weeks of February. Fucking Fantastic Will.
*Sigh* Went to the gym today though. I do have my shit somewhat organized at work. My birthday is this weekend and it looks like it might actually turn out. But I shouldn't say anything lest I jinx it. I seem to be good at that.
Work
My kids' graduation was last week Wednesday. I really wish I could say it all went off without a hitch. The fact of the matter everything went wrong. They were too quite. The dumb bitch running the music fuct up the cue, so my kids stood there like deers in the headlights until the last second and finally pulled it together - somewhat. They kept changing the order of who was walking onto the stage to do their graduation bow. By the end of the showing I was fuming mad.
Of course that all melted away when I saw the first crying mother come on stage to congratulate her son. By the time I posed for the 5th picture I had all but forgotten that anything other what we had practiced for weeks and weeks had occurred. Of course we did have to go and teach for the rest of the afternoon, but the celebration that night was fucking brilliant. You know, Gongshow Galbi, good times.
Today we started out new semester and it is right fuct. We now rotate in the morning so I see three different kindergartens - balls. My homeroom is 1st year "6" year olds. It sucks. But they do seem like a good group of kids and I really hope they start to pick up what I'm putting down real fucking quick. I don't think I have ever looked at the clock more than today.
My afternoon also right sucks cock. No details neccessary, just sucks. Over it though, could be worse.
The X situation
I so fucking had the X situation unde control. I fucking did. We had a drunken love-in one night at Galbi, and in my head I said, "Ok, I get it. I really do love this guy so much more as a friend than as a(n imaginary) lover. He's fucking awesome and I CAN'T do anything to fuck this up."
Then for reasons, I really can't remember, those old familar, sinful feelings starting bubbling up again and I couldn't (can't) get him out of my head. It's really a day to day thing really. Sitting here now I'm like, well, I actually might just have it under control and blah blah blah. But then the weekend comes and I can't help myself.
It really doesn't help that I don't have any other prospects. The situation with that Matt is boarderline toxic. I am not sure how I even entertained the idea of trying to court him. I stumble at every attempt, and I have zero motivation to try and sweep him off his feet with my supposed/imagined charm. I can't be fucking bothered. He doesn't do it for me in that way. The single positive attribute that I attatch to him is that he might let me fuck him again. Thats it. Bah. Terrible.
Just to make sure that I've make this a complete "woe is me" post, I skipped the gym everyday last week. That means I went twice in the last two weeks of February. Fucking Fantastic Will.
*Sigh* Went to the gym today though. I do have my shit somewhat organized at work. My birthday is this weekend and it looks like it might actually turn out. But I shouldn't say anything lest I jinx it. I seem to be good at that.
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