self realization is awesome

So yeah I WAS feeling really down and I thought it was X, but I realized, "wait, its January, and I'm single yet again. And I do seem to be single and depressed in January. SEASONAL DEPRESSION!."

And just like that I felt a whole hell of a lot better. I realized, I'm not that sad of in individual that some straight guy is going to make my life not worth living (:), its just this time of year. I'm not sure if it is the fact that I am faced with the challenge of a new year and new goals and whatnot, because I don't really internalize or stress about that idea, or if its being lonly, because lets face it, I'm good at being alone and bad at being together. Its just the bitter cold and the seeming neverending banality of my life. (!!)

Anyways since I made this realization, I actually feel a million times better. I'm so much more focused on my goals - perhaps motivated is the word.

Anyways China is in... 10 days (fuck) and so a week and a bit more. I am hoping that by the end of Febuary I will have soemthing to show for my deiting. I hate this diet. I'm bored of it already... and it was would be so much more enjoyable if the price of chicken would stop going up(!). Yeah, a lot of spinich and egg whites and now tofu (blah). I only drank beer once last week and once this week. I know its only Wednesday, but thats one resolution I'd liek to keep. Its really not Taco Tuesday without a couple of beers.

Boring post ends - Now.